Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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