Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
