Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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