ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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