Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
