K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
