im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
