What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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