Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.