don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.