You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.