Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?