well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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