Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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