Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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