i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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