Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
