I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We are all done wearing pants today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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