The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
