So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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