I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize