Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
