apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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