i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
