So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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