it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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