dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize