Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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