I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
