Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My pussy is not your playground.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
