The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
