Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
