For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
