Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
