we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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