so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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