I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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