the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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