we have officially lost it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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