Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
