we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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