wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what day is it and did you see me today?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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