whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
