i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
