absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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