Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Houston, we have a squirter
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
