I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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