Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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