Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
