Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
