I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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