I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
