We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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