Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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