Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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