Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
