I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
