Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
