O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
