Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
