she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize