seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
