A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
