He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
