Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a hot homeless man
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
