When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
